Quick summary:
This is a story about how being heard during middle stage dementia can matter more than being “fixed.”
Virtual music therapy doesn’t need dramatic breakthroughs to be meaningful. In this real-life case, small moments such as singing a familiar song, expressing a strong opinion, or sharing a smile created connection, dignity, and relief for both a senior with dementia and her caregiver.
Meet Anita*: Opinionated, Musical, and Unapologetically Herself
Anita was in her late 80s, living at home with a full-time aide. She was navigating middle dementia, along with health and mobility challenges. Like many people at this stage, her days were often shaped by care tasks including doctor visits, transfers, routines, safety, and supervision.
Emotionally, she could be upset, angry, or easily frustrated. She was feisty in the best way. Opinionated, direct, and not interested in pretending she felt fine when she didn’t. She didn’t warm up easily.
But one thing stood out. She enjoyed music.
From the very first virtual music therapy session, Anita sang. Sometimes sincerely, sometimes sarcastically. Sometimes with a sharp comment afterward. But she sang. And often, somewhere in that process, she smiled.
That smile mattered.
Why Virtual Music Therapy Worked During Middle Dementia
The sessions were intentionally structured to support engagement without pressure. Together, we used a customized virtual presentation that allowed Anita to:
- Choose songs she liked and reject ones she didn’t
- Sing along at her own comfort level
- Read short music-related facts
- Share memories or opinions sparked by the music
- Freely express dislike without being corrected, redirected, or talked out of it
There was no expectation to be cheerful. No demand to perform. No right or wrong response.
Music therapy was effective because it gave Anita a sense of agency and freedom. It allowed her to make choices, express strong opinions, and engage in a way that felt self-directed. Participation happened on her terms, which made engagement feel safe rather than forced.
Over time, a therapeutic relationship developed. Anita began to recognize me. She remembered the music. She grew more comfortable singing fully, not just testing the waters. While some days were harder than others, as they always are with dementia, a consistent pattern formed. One that felt safe, predictable, and human.
The Real Goal of Virtual Music Therapy: Engagement, Not Perfection
With someone like Anita, success wasn’t measured by memory recall or mood consistency. The goals were simpler and more meaningful:
- Freedom of expression
- Moments of joy or interest
- Any form of engagement
Even sarcasm counted. Especially sarcasm.
Music therapy supported Anita by giving her space to be exactly who she was that day. Angry, amused, critical, or playful, without being managed or corrected. Those small moments of authenticity were the therapeutic work.
And they were enough.
What This Meant for the Caregiver
While Anita engaged in sessions, her caregiver experienced something just as important. Peace of mind.
They knew something meaningful was happening and didn’t need to entertain, redirect, or fill the time. There was relief in knowing that connection was being supported with intention and care.
Sometimes the caregiver could step away without guilt to fold laundry, clean, or simply take a breath. Other times, they stayed nearby, comforted by the predictable rhythm of something positive in the week.
That consistency mattered. For families and caregivers, virtual music therapy wasn’t just an activity. It functioned as support.
Make Small Moments Matter with Virtual Music Therapy
At InVibe Creative Arts Therapy, we see how small moments matter more than big breakthroughs.
Virtual music therapy can support seniors with dementia because it prioritizes dignity, expression, and relationship over outcomes and expectations. It creates space for seniors to feel heard and valued, and for caregivers to feel supported.
If you’re looking for a way to bring meaningful moments into your loved one’s day, even from a distance, virtual music therapy may be worth exploring.
Book a consultation to see if virtual music therapy could be a good fit for your family.
*Named changed to protect client confidentiality.
Virtual Music Therapy FAQs
Does virtual music therapy really work for dementia?
Yes. Music therapy can be designed in many ways to work virtually for seniors with dementia. This can include short sessions focused on relaxation or longer sessions that involve singing, education, and creative engagement.
What if my loved one is resistant or in a bad mood?
That’s okay. Bad moods are welcome. Engagement does not need to look happy to be meaningful. Music can help seniors shift difficult moods, but it is equally important to respect boundaries. Music therapy should never be forced. Respecting resistance is often part of providing ethical and therapeutic care.
Do I need to stay in the room?
It depends. If the care plan allows, many caregivers use this time to step away or focus on other tasks, knowing their loved one is supported. If staying nearby is necessary, caregivers often enjoy taking part in the creative experience and may use it to strengthen their bond with their senior companion.
What actually happens in a session?
Music, choice, conversation, and connection, guided with intention, flexibility, and respect.
Is online music therapy right for everyone?
Short answer, no. Sometimes the most therapeutic option is honoring someone’s preferences. Online music therapy can benefit many people, and often there is a design that works well. If not, respecting that preference is still the right kind of care.
Eric Lebowitz, MT-BC, LCAT, is a music therapist and founder of InVibe Creative Arts Therapy. He helps adults, dementia caregivers and family members, and seniors navigate stress, grief, and life transitions through music, creativity, and mindfulness. With training from Berklee and NYU, Eric blends neuroscience-informed care with accessible creative tools to help people feel grounded, capable, and connected to themselves and those they love.